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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Seen just now on Threads:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Spotted on X:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

23 Funny maturity quotes

Funny maturity quotes bring a hilarious twist to growing up 🎉😄 They remind us that getting older doesn’t mean losing your sense of humor 🤪✨ Whether you’re dodging adulting responsibilities or just embracing life’s quirks, these witty lines will have you laughing while reflecting on the ups and downs of maturity 🧠😂 Perfect for sharing with friends who know that growing up is optional—fun is mandatory! 🎈🎉

New funny maturity quotes 👇

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

5 days ago

apology, back, communication, flirting, hand, humor, i, instant, instant reply, mature, maturity, phone, relationship, reply, sorry, texting
You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

6 days ago

adult, anger, angry, catch, change, changes, frustration, getting, grocery, grocery store, layout, maturity, store, truly, yourself
Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

6 days ago

adult, crush, dating, embarrassing, embarrassment, forging, having, hobby, humor, learn, literally, maturity, old, self-improvement, sword, sword forging, too
I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

7 days ago

absolutely, age, comfort, convenience, extra, i, little, maturity, okay, paying, payment, spending, understand, where
Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

1 week ago

behavior, digital, digital behavior, feed, humor, judging, mature, maturity, media, non-judgmental, person, scrolling, social, social media
People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

1 week ago

before, breakfast, cook, cooking, going, humor, mature, maturity, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, too, work
Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

1 week ago

activity, adult, appliances, being, buying, excited, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, maturity, new, shopping
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

1 week ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger
You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

1 week ago

age, aging, beauty, confidence, glow, glow-up, grow, hotter, humor, improvement, maturity, self, self-improvement
Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

1 week ago

actually, buy, happiness, humor, irony, maturity, money, realization, realize

For even more funny maturity quotes, hit next 👇

All funny maturity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

90 shares on Threads this month:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Job-hopping is a funny concept, like ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hate my life over there instead.’

Going viral on Discord:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on Telegram:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Just landed via TikTok:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Just landed via Discord:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Shared recently on Telegram:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Making waves on Pinterest:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Trending via YouTube:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Going viral on Instagram:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

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