2018 Funny me quotes

• Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

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  4 weeks ago

  both, dead, driving, faster, frustration, here, honk, humor, i, impatience, just, me, parking, parking spot, rage, road, road rage, sit, someone, spot, stubbornness, traffic, us, waiting

• No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

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  4 weeks ago

  adult, adulting, being, destination, frustration, humor, hurry, irony, just, life, life truth, me, place, responsibility, somewhere, truth, want, warned

• My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

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  4 weeks ago

  Christmas, Christmas light, holiday, hours, humor, just, light, lights, me, OnlyFans, untangling

• Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

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  4 weeks ago

  actually, artist, daily, daily habit, day, exaggeration, habit, i, listen, listening, literally, me, music, never, special, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, streaming, talent, telling, times, wrapped

• If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

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  4 weeks ago

  across, door, doors, game, gap, gaps, girlfriend, humor, i, level, lever, love, me, open, pull, puzzle-solving, relationship, throw, tiny, tiny girlfriend, video, video game

• Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

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  1 month ago

  casual, casual conversation, conversation, humor, me, revelation, source, walk

• It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

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  1 month ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, car, fear, going, hear, late, late night, me, night, night sound, road, sound, stay, staying, staying up late, where

• Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

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  1 month ago

  communication, disrespect, disrespectful, doing, ghosting, humor, irony, me, relationship, sarcasm

• They’re making me get out of bed.

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  1 month ago

  bed, getting, getting up, making, me, morning, reluctance, sleep, tiredness

• I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

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  1 month ago

  attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking

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