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32 Funny morning routine quotes

New funny morning routine quotes 👇

  • Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

    …

    Commentary:
    “Attention: The Bed Monsters Union has filed a grievance due to unsafe working conditions. 🛌🧹😂”

  • I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

    Commentary:
    “Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever”

  • I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you mornings, grab a coffee! ☕️✨ #StillSleepingInside”

  • Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the mysterious allure of the pre-dawn kitchen table…where dads go to contemplate the meaning of life (or maybe just figure out how many cups of coffee it takes to function). ☕️🤔 Rise and shine, it’s time for some quality early morning pondering!

  • I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

    Commentary:
    🐓 Rise and shine like a rooster they said, but they forgot to mention the screaming part! 😂 Who needs coffee when you can start your day with a good old-fashioned wake-up call from your inner rooster? Just remember to save the wandering around for after you’ve had your morning brew! ☕ #MorningRoutineGoals

  • There’s nothing more satisfying than the little nap you have after hitting snooze on your alarm.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the sweet victory of hitting snooze and indulging in that mini-slumber victory lap! 😴💤 Who needs breakfast when you can have a second round of ZZZs instead? 🛌⏰ #SnoozeAndWin”

  • Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, coffee, the liquid motivation that turns ‘I can’t’ into ‘I can’t even without you.’ Here’s to conquering today, one sip at a time!”

  • I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs a good morning when you can just have a morning, right? I mean, let’s be realistic here – who among us can truly claim every morning is a good one? I’ll stick to just acknowledging the fact that I’m awake, thank you very much!”

  • Who you are before you have your coffee is the real you.

    Commentary:
    “Before coffee: a mysterious blend of grumpy, confused, and not-to-be-disturbed… After coffee: a powerhouse of charm, wit, and productivity! ☕️😄 Embrace the transformation – caffeine is the real magic potion!”

  • Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

    Commentary:
    “Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you’ve got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation”

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