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5 months ago
Share →: My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here's to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation"
5 months ago
Share →: Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉
5 months ago
Share →: My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the perfect balance of productivity and procrastination 🎉😅 Here's to a year of hopeful intentions and inevitable distractions! #NewYearSameMe"
5 months ago
Share →: Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Commentary:
"Here's to hoping reality finally gets a headache from all that crushing and dreams develop a secret plot to fulfill themselves! 🤞🏼😂 #BringItOn2023"
5 months ago
Share →: My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally listened to TLC and decided to stick to the rivers and lakes they're used to in 2022! 🌊 No more chasing waterfalls for you, huh? Let's hope this resolution doesn't go chasing pavements instead! 🎶 #NewYearNewMe"
5 months ago
Share →: If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Commentary:
"New Year's resolution: be more proactive in friendships or just blame it on laziness like a pro. 😅💤 #FriendshipGoals #LazyButLoyal"
5 months ago
Share →: Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Commentary:
"Excited to dive headfirst into a fresh year of questionable decisions like a boss! 🎉🤪 Who needs a coherent life plan when you have spontaneity as your sidekick? Let's make 2022 a year to remember (or forget)! 🤣🎆"
5 months ago
Share →: Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Commentary:
Ah, a rebel with a decibel! 🎉 Why settle for a kiss when you can make a scream that’ll echo into the New Year? 🗣️ Better warn the neighbors, your energy is contagious! 😂 #NewYearsEveVibes
5 months ago
Share →: As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Commentary:
"Move over thunderstorms, this dad's sneezes are taking over 2022! 🌩️🤧 Wishing him the strength to achieve this earth-shattering resolution 😆💪 #SneezeGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Commentary:
"Looks like humanity is auditioning for a 'New Year, New Me' makeover but may need a reality check first! 🌎😅 Here's hoping they at least bring their recycling game up a notch in the next chapter!"