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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,080

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Just landed via YouTube:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Live now on X:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Making waves on Slack:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Twitch this month:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

64 shares on X this month:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

92 shares on Slack this month:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

This is your sign to cancel all work meetings today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Shared recently on Twitch:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Going bananas on Threads:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Seen just now on Reddit:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Shared recently on X:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Live now on Messenger:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

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