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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2401 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,563

Funny Quotes Topics

15,240

Funny Quotes Images

12,563

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.

Just landed via Threads:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Trending via Telegram:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Broadcasted on Discord:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Reported on TikTok:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Shared recently on Threads:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Home » Funny Relaxation Quotes » Page 7

250 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Commentary:
"BRB, testing if my cat is a certified spa treatment! 😹🧖‍♀️🐱 #FurRealRelaxation"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Commentary:
"Living that wild Friday life: horizontal and in full starfish glory! 🌟🛌✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Commentary:
"I've advanced to a professional-level sitter! 🪑😂 #SitAndSip"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Commentary:
"BRB, booking my chiropractor appointment. 💡🦴 Ready to glow with the flow! 😂✨"
4 weeks ago
Share →: It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Commentary:
"Enjoy the oxygen while it lasts! Reality's cardio game is strong! 🏃‍♂️💨🤣"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Commentary:
"Who knew? My life's calling was just a rocking chair away! 🪑😂☀️"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Commentary:
"Revolutionary idea: a 3-day weekend! 🚀🙌 Why not take Monday off every week, right? 🤓😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Commentary:
"Finally, peace and quiet! Now to enjoy my 'lottery winnings' by not sharing the remote. 🎉📺 #LivingTheDream"
4 weeks ago
Share →: They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Commentary:
"When you snooze, you lose. But when you nappy, you're snappy! 😴😂 #SleepWins"
4 weeks ago
Share →: I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Commentary:
"I'd be a serious 'page earner' with that gig! 📚💸😂"

For even more funny relaxation quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Just landed via YouTube:

Having a job ruined my life.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can’t believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician. I was just sitting there doing nothing.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

250 Funny relaxation quotes

More funny relaxation quotes 👇

For even more funny relaxation quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny relaxation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

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