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Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Someone from has shared:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Someone from has bookmarked:

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from has copied:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from has viewed:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from has bookmarked:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from has shared:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Someone from has copied:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2306 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,468

Funny Quotes Topics

15,180

Funny Quotes Images

12,468

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Just landed via Instagram:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Tested positive for being single af

Just shared via YouTube:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Just shared via Reddit:

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Spotted on X:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Home » Funny Show Quotes » Page 2

97 Funny show quotes

More funny show quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬
6 days ago
Share →: Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

Commentary:
Growing up means starring in your own reality show where even the cat is an uninterested audience! 🙀🎬🍿
6 days ago
Share →: At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Commentary:
Level up complete: now unlocking Dad Mode! 🤣🎓👨‍👧‍👦
7 days ago
Share →: Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Commentary:
Who needs a notification ping when you can have the doorbell symphony and a flower delivery 💐🚪😂
1 week ago
Share →: If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Commentary:
Sounds like he's about to take a PhD course in how to mess things up 😂🎓
1 week ago
Share →: Sometimes you show up to work, and they just torture you for hours.

Commentary:
When I signed up for this job, I didn’t realize I’d be joining a circus as the main act! 🎪🤡📞
1 week ago
Share →: The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Commentary:
Sounds like all that's missing is a laser pointer and some really awkward Q&A! 😂📊
1 week ago
Share →: Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

Commentary:
When laziness meets genius: procrastination becomes a superpower 😂🧠📚
1 week ago
Share →: If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Commentary:
🌊🤿 "Forget the drama, I'm just here for synchronized swimming and mermaid auditions. Who's got the glitter tails?" 🧜✨
1 week ago
Share →: Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Commentary:
Plot twist: Turns out we're not talking about binge-watching but budget cuts 🎬📉😂

For even more funny show quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from has downloaded:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from has viewed:

Some days you are the table and some days you are the toe.

Someone from has shared:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from has copied:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from has downloaded:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from has shared:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from has viewed:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Someone from has viewed:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on TikTok:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Freshly posted on X:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Going viral on Messenger:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Just landed via TikTok:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Spotted on Facebook:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Meow means woof in cat.

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Don’t hate me, date me!

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Activity Log ✨

97 Funny show quotes

More funny show quotes 👇

For even more funny show quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny show quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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