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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,680

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Just shared via Facebook:

Imagine not sleeping with plushies. You guys are gonna get eaten by monsters.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

One day you’re hip and cool, and then out of nowhere you say things like hip and cool.

Just shared via Twitch:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Making waves on TikTok:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Spotted on Discord:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

40 Funny star quotes

Funny star quotes 🌟 bring a cosmic twist to your day with humor that’s out of this world 🚀! Whether you’re stargazing or just starstruck, these witty lines shine bright and spark laughter 🌠. Perfect for lightening the mood or adding a little sparkle ✨ to your feed, dive into some stellar fun that’s guaranteed to make you smile! 😄🌌

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All funny star quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

77 shares on Slack this month:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

100 shares on X this month:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I had too much to think last night.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,315

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

White guys have a slur for other white guys they don’t respect, it’s called ‘buddy.’

Freshly posted on Slack:

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Going viral on Threads:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just landed via Messenger:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Just landed via Threads:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

Making waves on TikTok:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

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