162 Funny still quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to decipher today's slang is like trying to solve a cryptic puzzle designed by aliens 👽. You're not alone in feeling lost in this linguistic maze! It's a wild ride in the world of Gen Z lingo 🤯🤔 #LostInTranslation"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your DMs are going to be 90% more interesting now! 😉🔥 Keep slaying, influencer extraordinaire! 💁‍♂️💃 #StillGotIt"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal battle between us and our pants – may they always be on our side! 🤞👖 #PantsAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

  Commentary:
  "Those who can still squeeze into their wedding dresses years later must have missed the memo about enjoying a good meal 🍔🍰🍕. Let's be real, life is too short for skinny jeans and small portions! #EatAndBeMerry"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the power of sibling rivalry combined with some strategic sleepy deception! 🌙🎶 Who knew that music practice could be the ultimate alarm clock for the entire household? 😜🎻 #ParentingWin"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs therapy when you can correct grammar and feel superior for free online? Take that, high prices! 💸💁‍♂️ #GrammarPolice"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that even sandwiches have health-conscious destinations?! 🥪🏥 Well, if it works for sick deli delights, it must be a miracle worker for us mere humans too! 🤣 #SandwichRehab"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

  Commentary:
  "Netflix, are you spying on me or what? 🕵️‍♂️ Not even my mom keeps track of my laundry progress! 🧺 Maybe the real binge-watching challenge is not finishing a series but finishing the laundry… 🤔🧦 #LaundryDayDilemma"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

  Commentary:
  "Hey boy, are you my period? 🩸🙄 Because just like Aunt Flo, you're a real pain in the butt but I can't resist your monthly visits! 😂💕"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

  Commentary:
  Well, at least the Titanic's pool is dedicated to maintaining its H2-legacy! 💦🚢 Who knew the ship had its own eternal hydration plan? Just keep swimming… or sinking, in this case! 😄 #TitanicPoolGoals

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