12 Funny theft quotes

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

  Commentary:
  "When they try to recreate your sauce but end up with ketchup soup instead! 🍅🤦‍♂️😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

  Commentary:
  🤣 Oh, the thought of an evil Santa swiping away our kids' most irritating toys is both diabolical and brilliant! Finally, a holiday hero we can truly get behind! Goodbye, noisy toys and batteries that never last – we're counting on you, Evil Santa! 👹🎅🎁🚫 #ParentingDreams

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

  Commentary:
  Well, if theft equals swag acquisition, consider me a swag investor! 💸😂 Your stolen style is a direct deposit to my fashion fund! 💰👗 #SwagTax #AllFunAndFashion

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's on the naughty list this year! 🎅🏼🎄 Stealing Santa's donations? That's a bold move, Cotton-Headed Ninny Muggins! 🎁 Hope you enjoy your new title: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas Cheer! 😂 #NotSoNaughtyList

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

  Commentary:
  "Feels like Robin Hood just robbed from the time thieves and gave it back to us! ⏰🦸‍♂️ #TimeHeist #DaylightSavingWin"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

  Commentary:
  Looks like time really got away from the oversized clock thief! 🕰️⏳ Hope they have a big wrist to carry that around with them! #TimeToPayUp 😄

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

  Commentary:
  "I must warn you, the secret government conspiracy involving the object with little wheels under the microwave plate is a high stakes operation. Proceed with caution, my friend! 🕵️‍♂️🔍👽"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a hoodie when you can upgrade to a whole new ride? 🚗💨 Ladies, level up! #RealWomanGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, when playing the online shopping game, speed is key! 🏃‍♂️💨 Otherwise, your neighbor might beat you to the prize! 🎁😂 #RaceToTheDoorstep"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: He took my last fry, your honor.

  Commentary:
  "Your honor, I object! Taking someone's last fry is a serious offense punishable by a lifelong ban from all future fry-sharing sessions 🍟⚖️ Let the record show that this crime against potato goodness shall not go unpunished!"

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