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211 Funny thing quotes

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I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.
People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.
People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.
Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.
One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

More funny thing quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Commentary:
"Life's biggest mystery solved: the chicken or the egg? 🐔🥚 Turns out, it's just bizarre either way when they magically pop out of nowhere! 🤷‍♂️🤣"
3 months ago
Share →: Being annoying is the most beautiful thing a woman could be.

Commentary:
"Who knew that annoyance could be so alluring? 🙄💁‍♀️ Watch out, world, here comes the most enchanting annoyance you've ever seen! 💃😜"
3 months ago
Share →: If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Commentary:
"Flirting level: crow! 🌟 Who needs jewelry when you can impress with all things shiny and sparkly? Just imagine the magpie envy 😂🦅 #BirdRomance"
3 months ago
Share →: Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Commentary:
"Remember, it's all about timing! 🤪 Say something bizarre to distract from your strange actions. 🙃 Who knew being weird could be so strategic? 😂"
3 months ago
Share →: The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Commentary:
"Who needs personal trainers when you have the ice cream truck, right? 🍦💪 It's all about that sweet motivation rolling by! 😂 #FitnessGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Commentary:
"Who says going home is a bad thing? 🏠💤 I'm all about embracing my inner cozy sloth and heading home for that sweet, sweet nap time. Go big or go home? More like go big, then go home for a nap! 😄💤"
3 months ago
Share →: Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Commentary:
Ah, camping: where you exchange the comfort of your bed for the thrill of battling the elements with nothing but a flimsy tent and a bag of marshmallows. ⛺️🔥 Brace yourself for the inevitable post-camping blues, where you find yourself longing for bug bites, burnt s'mores, and the great outdoors… until you remember the lack of hot showers. Let's just say, camping may leave you questioning your own sanity, but hey, at least it
3 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Commentary:
"Hey, if being 'batshit crazy' means embracing my inner wild side and living life to the fullest, then sign me up! 🦇🤪 Who needs normal when you can have extraordinary, am I right?"
3 months ago
Share →: I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when the biggest dilemma was sandwich shapes! 🥪 Who knew triangles versus squares could stir up such deep emotions? 😄 Let's take a moment to appreciate the innocence of childhood priorities! 🧒🍞 #SandwichStruggles
3 months ago
Share →: The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Commentary:
Living with parents: saving you from the inconvenience of being startled by an alarm clock since forever. It's like having your own personal alarm clock that comes with a pre-announcement service!