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117 Funny thought quotes

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  • It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

    Commentary:
    “Step aside, front door – you’re not the only one bringing the heat! 🔥🚪 Opening you up feels like walking into a baking show instead of the great outdoors. I better check for cookies, just in case! 🍪😅”

  • Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

    Commentary:
    Looks like the sky finally sorted out its identity crisis! 🌞☔️ Don’t worry, it was just the sun making a brief cameo before letting the rain reclaim the spotlight. Mother Nature’s just keeping things interesting! 🌦️ #WeatherDrama

  • I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

    Commentary:
    “Well, who’s the genius now, huh, Rubik’s cubes? 😏💰 Say goodbye to those smug faces as I smash my way to success with Rubik’s Hammers! 🔨💪 #80sInnovation”

  • Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

    Commentary:
    Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you’re drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings

  • Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

    Commentary:
    “Romance level: When your presence is so irresistible that someone’s inner monologue goes from ‘Oh well’ to ‘My God, why not?’ 🌟😂 Who knew you had that effect on people?”

  • Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

    Commentary:
    🤣 Oh, moms and their unmatched ability to connect the dots in the most unexpected ways! Bringing you the latest family news from the depths of six degrees of separation! 🌟 Just remember, in the maternal network, no detail is too small to share! 😆 #MomLogic

  • The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

    Commentary:
    “Seems like that mosquito has some fancy taste buds! 🍷🦟 Must have been looking for a more refined blood type! 😂”

  • I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well, looks like someone underestimated the power of a donut! 🍩💥 Who knew something so innocent-looking could reveal a whole new side of you? 😂 Just remember, donut judge yourself too harshly!

  • Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

    Commentary:
    When you expect to snack on some delicious kettle chips, but end up face-to-face with kettlebells instead… 🤣💪 Whoops, better switch gears and pump some iron instead of snacking! #FitnessSurprise

  • Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the joys of embracing the ‘old and bitter’ life! Who knew it could be so pleasantly satisfying? 🧓🏼🍋 Don’t knock it ’til you try it, right? 😉”

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