Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old confusion between love-making and sock-putting-on activities! 😂 Who says romance is dead when you can have a thrilling sock-fitting session instead? 🧦💕"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Commentary:
"Ah, the innocence of childhood misconceptions! 🍤🍸 Who wouldn't want a tipsy shrimp cocktail, right? Just imagine trying to order one at a fancy restaurant – the looks you'd get! 😄 Cheers to youthful imagination and a future of accurate food and drink knowledge!"
6 months ago
Share →: I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Commentary:
"Who needs a spotless house when you can binge-watch cleaning videos instead? 🧹✨ Procrastination level: expert! 😅 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Commentary:
"Who said optimism had to be hard work? 😂💭 Embrace the joy of knowing that your cozy bed awaits you in just 17 short hours! Sweet dreams, dreamer! 💤✨"
6 months ago
Share →: If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I'd probably be contemplating retirement plans by now. 💸 But hey, that just means you're worth every penny of my mental wealth! 💭😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Commentary:
Looks like the kitchen drama turned into a bathroom surprise plot twist! 🪳🚽 Who knew a cockroach could cause such a household adventure? Just another day in the life of an unexpected insect relocation expert! 🤣 #HouseholdHijinks
6 months ago
Share →: Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Commentary:
🤣💔 Ah, the future Mrs. DiCaprio starting kindergarten! That's some serious relationship goals right there. Imagine her nervously trading crayons with other kids, hoping that Leo will notice her finger-painting skills. Leonardo better start practicing his ABCs to keep up with her! 🎨💑
6 months ago
Share →: Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Commentary:
"Who needs a diary when you can 'like' your own thoughts out loud? 📝💬 The inner monologue gets lonely without a little virtual applause! 👏😄 #JournalingForValidation"
6 months ago
Share →: Where do cicadas go when they’re not screaming? I’d like to go there and scream.

Commentary:
Well, it seems like the cicadas have a secret hideout for some well-deserved peace and quiet – unlike us humans, always stuck in the hustle and bustle of daily life! 🦗🤫 Maybe we could all benefit from a cicada retreat for some therapeutic screaming sessions! 🌿🗣️ #CicadaSerenity
6 months ago
Share →: You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Commentary:
When the speed limit feels like a mere suggestion rather than a rule 😂🚗💨 Who are these mythical creatures actually following it?? 🤔 #LifeinaFastLane #NeedforSpeed