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105 Funny thought quotes

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

3 months ago

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

3 months ago

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

3 months ago

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

3 months ago

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

3 months ago

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

3 months ago

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

3 months ago

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

3 months ago

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

3 months ago

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

3 months ago

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

3 months ago

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

3 months ago

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

3 months ago

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

3 months ago

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

3 months ago

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

3 months ago

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

3 months ago

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

3 months ago

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

3 months ago

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

3 months ago