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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,585

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Trending via Snapchat:

On my way to HR again for nicknaming my coworker “Mastercard” because they take credit for other people’s work.

Shared recently on Slack:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Going viral on Slack:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Live now on Telegram:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Making waves on Threads:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Going viral on Telegram:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Just landed via Pinterest:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

3 weeks ago

back, car, driving, found, humor, i, Jesus, joke, religion, road, road safety, safety, signal, traffic, turn, turn signal
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

3 weeks ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself
Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

3 weeks ago

doing, driving, frustration, green, humor, joke, patience, sat, sign, stop, stop sign, today, traffic, turn, waiting, wondering
I have this epiphany every night that I need to turn it up a notch.

3 weeks ago

epiphany, every, humor, i, motivation, need, night, self-improvement, turn
Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

3 weeks ago

humor, loud, louder, motivation, music, need, problem, problem-solving, shit, solving, sometimes, sort, turn
I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

3 weeks ago

binge, binge-watching, control, fingerprint, fingerprints, humor, i, law, Law and Order, much, order, remote, remote control, turn, TV, watch, watching, wipe
If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

3 weeks ago

accident, chance, corner, delivery, door, falling, fast, fast turn, humor, i, open, too, turn, ups, work
Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

3 weeks ago

attitude, humor, listen, second, slang, swag, turn
Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

3 weeks ago

expression, flip, going, humor, idiom, table, tables, turn, wordplay
When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

3 weeks ago

bring, chess, chess clock, clock, clocks, dessert, dining, fork, humor, joke, know, let, person, should, smack, turn, waiter

For even more funny turn quotes, hit next 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

51 shares on Threads this month:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How many cups of coffee is OK to have every day? Is it eight? I’m pretty sure it’s eight.

Making waves on TikTok:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Making waves on Threads:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Live now on Reddit:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Spotted on Discord:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Spotted on Twitch:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

Trending via WeChat:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Activity Log ✨

111 Funny turn quotes

More funny turn quotes 👇

All funny turn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨