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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Trending via Twitch:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Trending via WeChat:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Shared recently on Slack:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Trending via TikTok:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Live now on Discord:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Seeing my kids getting along, laughing, and peacefully playing together is the best minute of my day.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Shared recently on Threads:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Seen just now on X:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Going viral on YouTube:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Just shared via Discord:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

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