16 Funny woke quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

  Commentary:
  "Interrupt my cruise again and I'll toss you overboard! 🚢😴☠️"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

  Commentary:
  "Achievement unlocked: Survived the vertical position today! ☕️😴 #Overachiever"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

  Commentary:
  "Proof that my body can multitask: sleep and be at work simultaneously! 💤😅 #SleepWorkBalance"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: In the 80s, if you woke up feeling thirsty, you could drink some of your waterbed.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the 80s, where even your bed could quench your thirst! 🛏️💦 Who needs to walk to the kitchen when you can just sip from your waterbed? Talk about convenience – and potential for a soggy morning! 😂 #ThrowbackThirsty"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

  Commentary:
  "Who knew proverbs could be so judgmental about our waking habits? 🐛😂 Maybe it's time for some updated wisdom: 'Early bird catches the worm, but the late risers get brunch instead!' 🕰️🍳"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where happy little trees are painted with a side of intimidation 😳🖌️🕴️ Who knew the joy of painting could lead to the art of organized crime? 🎨💰 #HappyAccidents #CriminalMasterpiece"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

  Commentary:
  "Starting the day with a fierce twerk and some self-love, because why not? 💃🪞💤 Who needs coffee when you've got that kind of energy boost! 😂 #MorningMotivation"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like that snooze button is the real MVP 🛌💤 Don't worry, tomorrow is another chance to blame your alarm clock for everything 😆⏰ #MorningStruggles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone had a fab hair day! 🎶✨ Channeling those Beatles vibes with your hair getting a ticket to ride in all directions! Maybe a little help from Sergeant Pepper's comb would do the trick! 🚂💈 #FabFourHairGoals"

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