28 Funny woke quotes

• It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

  ---

  5 days ago

  battle, battles, civil, civil war, early, early morning, history, humor, me, morning, side, strategy, wake, wake up, war, war strategy, woke

• I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

  ---

  6 days ago

  anxiety, being, early, early riser, extra, humor, i, Monday, morning, much, procrastination, riser, sleep, today, tomorrow, waking, waking up, woke, workweek, worrying

• British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

  ---

  6 days ago

  born, British, British culture, chest, culture, hair, ham, humor, i, man, moved, name, people, place, place name, pun, stall, stereotype, university, woke, wordplay

• Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

  ---

  6 days ago

  Christmas, coal, gift, humor, me, panel, Santa, small, solar, solar panel, technology, woke

• Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

  ---

  6 days ago

  commentary, communication, fluent, humor, identity, language, man, ordering, social, social commentary, straight, straight man, they/them, woke, woke language

• Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

  ---

  6 days ago

  another, bed, behavior, camera, funny behavior, illness, just, level, mental, mental illness, pretend, setting, setup, woke, woke up

• Scooby Doo was a woke-ass show. Every villain was just a landlord trying to scare people off their property so they could sell it.

  ---

  6 days ago

  doo, every, just, landlord, people, property, scare, scooby, Scooby Doo, sell, show, trying, villain, woke

• I woke up alive again.

  ---

  7 days ago

  again, alive, gratitude, humor, i, life, morning, waking, waking up, woke

• I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

  ---

  7 days ago

  ask, buddy, day, five, frustration, hate, humor, i, know, laziness, listen, me, noon, okay, people, procrastination, time, today, waking, waking up, woke

• Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

  ---

  1 week ago

  astrophysics, bed, hair, humor, i, know, looking, lot, morning, science, surprise, wake, wake up, wet, wet hair, woke

All funny woke quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌