32 Funny able quotes

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶‍♂️👀💭😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

  Commentary:
  😂 "Living the dream: deleting LinkedIn and vanishing like a professional ninja! 🥷💨 #CareerGoals"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

  Commentary:
  "Breaking News: Grocery store commits 'shelf-shifting'! 🚓🍎 Anyone seen the mustard lately? 😂 #LostInAisle"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

  Commentary:
  "Right?! At this point, I'm just waiting for my cat to start giving me life advice. 🦜😲😸"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

  Commentary:
  Haha, talk about a forgetful party planner in the making! 🎉🤔 Maybe next time, the surprise will be on you—because with a memory like that, you'll forget you even planned it! 😅🎈#MemoryGoals

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the magical powers of Google, saving us from the 'lost in translation' moments from last night's bar conversations 🍸🧐 Let's just hope our Google searches don't judge us too hard! 💬🔍"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe King Kong just wanted the best view in town… or he seriously underestimated the size of New York City!" 🦍🌆 #HeightIssues

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where you could look up your barista on 'Baristapedia' before deciding if they're worth that extra shot of espresso in your latte! ☕🔍 Who knew your morning caffeine fix could come with a side of online stalking? 😂 #BaristaInvestigations"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

  Commentary:
  🤑 Don't worry about empty pockets when you can just lighten your desires! 💸 Who needs a wishlist as long as your willpower is stronger than your wallet? 😜 Remember, the less you crave, the more you save! 💰 #ShoppingGoals

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

  Commentary:
  🌱☀️ "It's like the plant is the ultimate drama queen of the garden! 'Oh no, too much sunlight, I just can't handle it!' Come on, buddy, you're literally from the great outdoors! Get it together, plant!" 😂🌿

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