Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Just shared via Reddit:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Spotted on WeChat:

My doubters will become my grouters when I remodel the bathroom of success.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Just shared via Reddit:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Just landed via Reddit:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Making waves on WeChat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Making waves on Slack:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Trending via Instagram:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

40 Funny calling quotes

Funny calling quotes 📞😂 bring a burst of laughter to those everyday phone moments we all know too well! Whether it’s missed calls, awkward conversations, or endless voicemail battles, these witty lines turn the ordinary ring-ring into pure comedy gold 🎉🤣. Ready to smile next time your phone buzzes? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes that’ll make you rethink every call you make or receive! 📱😄

New funny calling quotes 👇

For even more funny calling quotes, hit next 👇

All funny calling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Slack this month:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

64 shares on X this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

81 shares on Slack this month:

When I feel stupid, I like to remind myself that I got my bachelor’s degree without ChatGPT.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope this email makes you quit your job.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Spotted on Slack:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Just landed via Telegram:

Windmill? Big fan.

Live now on X:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Just shared via Facebook:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Going viral on Instagram:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

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