30 Funny count quotes

• December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

  ---

  0

  2 weeks ago

  calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law

• There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  calendar, count, counting, day, ever, evidence, just, physical, physical evidence, say, someone, time, today, trust, Tuesday

• There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  chair, count, English, English language, enough, express, expression, frustration, hit, humor, i, insult, language, much, never, properly, sarcasm, string, together, violence, want, word, word count, words

• You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  count, date, dating, going, humor, joke, me, relationship, sarcasm

• Scrolling should count as cardio.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  activity, cardio, count, exercise, fitness, humor, joke, scrolling, should, workout

• I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  body, body count, count, curiosity, dating, humor, i, remark, self-description, spirit, witty, witty remark

• How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole

• Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  count, humor, i, insomnia, joke, night, relatable, sheep, sleep, stress, troubles, why

• The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  count, cynicism, humor, inconsistency, only, people, relationships, reliability, sarcasm, thing, trust

• Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  attitude, beauty, confidence, count, empowerment, energy, girls, humor, ignore, independence, mindset, positivity, pretty, self-care, self-love, sit, weird

All funny count quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌