129 Funny drinking quotes

• Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

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  1 day ago

  6, airport, am, beer, drinking, early, early morning, free, humor, judgment, lawless, lawless place, morning, no judgment, place, problem, travel

• Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

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  1 day ago

  activity, along, app, apps, base, baseball, baseball game, beer, dating, dating app, dog, dogs, drinking, eating, first base, game, hot, hot dog, humor, line, social, social activity, start, time, working

• I won’t be doing Dry January, because who was there for me during the happy times and the hard times? Not broccoli.

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  6 days ago

  broccoli, diet, doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, food, happy, happy time, hard, humor, i, January, me, support, time, times, tough, tough time

• If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

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  1 week ago

  abstinence, Abstinence August, August, challenge, drinking, dry, Dry January, hard, humor, January, joke, month, sobriety, think, try, wait

• Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

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  1 week ago

  bar, coke, diet, Diet Coke, doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, joke, mocktail, sobriety, soda

• Why would I put money where my mouth is when wine exists?

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  1 week ago

  beverage, drinking, humor, i, joke, money, mouth, pun, put, sarcasm, where, why, wine

• Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

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  2 weeks ago

  drinking, food, Friday, humor, indulgence, pint, rule, rules, takeaway, tonight, want, weekend

• It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, 8, alcohol, beer, beers, comparison, day, drinking, drinking water, fat, Funny, funny comparison, hours, humor, impossible, impossible task, kid, seems, seesaw, shot, shots, task, water

• It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

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  2 weeks ago

  alcohol, crazy, day, drinking, feel, hangover, health, humor, irony, next, poison, shit

• If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

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  3 weeks ago

  anything, bottle, drinking, ever, fact, humor, just, know, me, minutes, personal, socializing, wanted, wine

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