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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Just shared via Discord:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Freshly posted on X:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Just landed via X:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Just shared via Discord:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Just shared via Twitch:

That awkward moment between birth and death.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Just shared via TikTok:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Home » Funny Even Quotes » Page 3

193 Funny even quotes

More funny even quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Commentary:
Searching for the elusive Jolene like she’s a mythical creature. 🕵️‍♀️✨ Anyone seen her? She’s welcome to my non-existent man too! 🤷‍♀️👀
2 weeks ago
Share →: My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Commentary:
Sounds like selective hearing is a marital superpower! 👂😅🔊
2 weeks ago
Share →: “Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

Commentary:
Capitalism: Coming soon to a wallet near you! 🎟️💸😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m not even doomscrolling anymore, I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Commentary:
Not sure if I should get a therapist or a fortune teller at this point! 📱🔮😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Commentary:
Having insurance is like wearing a seatbelt made of good intentions. 🎢💼🔍
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Commentary:
Relatable! I'm basically the Picasso of storytelling—abstract and confusing 😂🎨📖
2 weeks ago
Share →: Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Commentary:
New haircut looking more like a plot twist than a style choice, but at least it's character development! 💇‍♂️😂🌱
2 weeks ago
Share →: Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Commentary:
Plot twist: I've mastered the art of surprising myself on a daily basis! 🤔🤷‍♂️🔮
3 weeks ago
Share →: This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Commentary:
🌍✈️ Looks like I became a full-time resident of Airplane-ville. I just ordered a monogrammed seat cushion! 🎒🍼😅
3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️

For even more funny even quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny even quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Trending via Messenger:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Making waves on WeChat:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Breaking via X:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Breaking via Messenger:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Spotted on Threads:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just landed via TikTok:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

193 Funny even quotes

More funny even quotes 👇

For even more funny even quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny even quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Activity Log ✨

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