Funny historical quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

  Commentary:
  "Next stop: Ancient Greece, where Jason was the chillest guy at the toga party. 🎉🤔🌴 #AncientFloridianVibes"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, Malcolm Twitter – bringing social justice one tweet at a time! Who knew a name change could lead to such a revolutionary transformation?"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

  Commentary:
  "Clearly the first person to write down a recipe was on a whole other level of organization – they probably color-coded their spice rack and alphabetized their pantry. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here still trying to figure out where we put the flour."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

  Commentary:
  Well, who says you can't conquer an empire in style? 👠🛡️ Those Roman soldiers sure knew how to make a statement on the battlefield! Fashion-forward warriors, bringing a whole new meaning to the term "fighting in style." 💃💪 Just imagine their enemies' reactions when they showed up in those short, yet tasteful leather skirts! 🤣 #FashionablyFierce #RomanChic

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the infamous work meeting – modern day assassin of productivity! Beware, lest you end up like Julius Caesar. 🗡️💼 #EtTuZoomMeeting"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

  Commentary:
  👻 "Seriously, tall ghosts in horror movies? That's just historically inaccurate haunting! Do those ghosts have secret access to growth spurt potions or what? Maybe they just stretched their bed sheets too much in the afterlife… 👻📜 #GhostGrowthSpurts"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about bad luck! 😂 Bet living in a palace beats dealing with capitalism any day. 🏰☀️ #FirstWorldProblems"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

  Commentary:
  Oh, so the back seat is the new Grassy Knoll now, huh? 🚗💥 Who would have thought a seating arrangement could be so controversial? 😂 Just watch out for any suspicious-looking umbrella holders, okay? ☂️ #BackSeatConspiracy

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so THAT's why Rome wasn't built in a day – they forgot to invite you to the construction party! 😂 Looks like they missed out on the expert builder right here! 🏗️💪 #RomeWasntBuiltInADayButItCouldHaveBeenWithYou"

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