13 Funny historical quotes

• Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

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  4 weeks ago

  1868, dead, dead horse, going, hell, historical, horse, humor, imagine, outside, situationship

• A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

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  2 months ago

  1794, 1994, around, asked, bad, birth, date, date of birth, delivery, delivery driver, driver, french, French Revolution, historical, historical joke, humor, i, joke, just, mate, misunderstanding, oh, revolution, right, said, sorry

• My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

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  2 months ago

  being, confusion, dog, dogs, era, fear, food, food invention, having, historical, historical confusion, hot, hot dog, humor, imagine, invention, knowledge, modern, modern knowledge, renaissance, Renaissance era, something, time, time travel, tools, travel, waking

• It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

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  2 months ago

  1983, ancient, ancient Greece, Florida, greece, historical, historical reference, humor, Jason, name, name humor, origin, reference, sounds, wild, word, word origin

• Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

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  2 months ago

  birth, birth name, change, fact, figure, fun, fun fact, historical, historical figure, humor, irony, malcolm, Malcolm X, name, name change, Twitter, x

• Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

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  2 months ago

  cooking, creativity, figure, first person, historical, historical figure, humor, imagination, organization, person, recipe

• Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

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  2 months ago

  ancient, ancient Rome, comedy, costume, fashion, fight, going, historical, historical comedy, humor, leather, leather skirt, roman, Roman soldier, Rome, short, skirt, soldier

• You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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  2 months ago

  Caesar, historical, historical reference, humor, julius, Julius Caesar, killed, me, meeting, reference, reluctance, sarcasm, thing, want, work

• Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

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  2 months ago

  accuracy, anger, born, comedy, ghost, ghosts, height, historical, historical accuracy, horror, me, movie, nothing, research, screenwriter, tall

• I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

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  2 months ago

  born, capitalism, choices, disappointment, favorite, historical, historical reference, humor, i, irony, king, late, life, life choices, mistress, reference, stage, sun, Sun King, Versailles

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