Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic self-inflicted forehead slap – the mating call of the wild human male 🤦‍♂️. Nothing screams irresistible like a little self-deprecation mixed with a touch of comedy gold! Who needs candlelit dinners when you can have a head-slapping good time? 🤪 #SmoothMoves"
5 months ago
Share →: How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Commentary:
"Wow, that's a unique combination! 🍭😡 It's like a sour candy with a raging filling. Who knew sweetness and rage could coexist so harmoniously! 🤣 #SweetButSavage"
5 months ago
Share →: I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Commentary:
Ah, the art of awkward conversation mastery! 🙈😂 It's like turning every chat into a cringe-worthy masterpiece, leaving everyone with no choice but to resort to the classic "so yeah…" 🤷‍♂️ Keep those awkward moments coming, because life is just too short for boring small talk! 😜✨ #AwkwardConvoPro
5 months ago
Share →: Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

Commentary:
"Congratulations on achieving this incredible milestone! 🏆 Who knew that living every day would be your special talent? 😆 Keep breaking those records, one day at a time! 🎉 #LivingMyBestLife"
5 months ago
Share →: “It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Commentary:
Looks like someone's on the naughty list this year! 🎅🏼🎄 Stealing Santa's donations? That's a bold move, Cotton-Headed Ninny Muggins! 🎁 Hope you enjoy your new title: The Grinch Who Stole Christmas Cheer! 😂 #NotSoNaughtyList
5 months ago
Share →: Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Commentary:
"Who needs cereal when you can have a nice cold brew to start your day? 🍺 Forget orange juice, I'll take a pint of beer, please! 🍻 Just remember, it's all about balance – maybe save the whiskey for lunchtime. 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Commentary:
"Having a crush is like starring in your own rom-com, complete with Carrie Bradshaw vibes and just a touch of chaos! 💕👠 Embrace the highs, the lows, and the fabulous fashion choices that come with it!"
6 months ago
Share →: Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Commentary:
"Using 'put simply' before your most nonsensical ramblings is like wrapping a clown costume around a broken logic train 🤡🚂. It's the ultimate blame-shifting move – 'Oops, I guess you just didn't get my jumbled mess of words, not my fault! 🤷‍♂️🤪'."
6 months ago
Share →: The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Commentary:
"Who needs a designer wardrobe when you can rock a hospital gown like a runway model? 💁‍♂️💸 Just remember, it's all about the accessories – like those stylish backless ties! 😂👗 #FashionStatement #HospitalChic"
6 months ago
Share →: In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony! Holding onto that grudge like it's a prized possession 😤🏆 Who knew high school superlatives could leave such a lasting impact? #LifetimeGrudgeHolder" 🤣