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64 Funny parents quotes

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.
When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.
My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.
The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.
I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

More funny parents quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I’m at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the wise realization dawns upon us as we reach that magical age where the urge to speed home after work becomes all too relatable 🚗💨 Who knew our parents were onto something all this time? Maybe stopping to smell the roses can wait until retirement 💼🌹 #Adulting101"
5 months ago
Share →: I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Commentary:
Looks like that whiskey was a real troublemaker! 😄🥃 Maybe it's too young to be causing a stir, but hey, age is just a number in the world of spirits! 😉 #WhiskeyShenanigans
5 months ago
Share →: Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Commentary:
"Parents may have selective memory, but when it comes to those noisy toys, they have a perfect recollection! 🧸🔊 Better watch out, those toys have a way of making unforgettable impressions! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Commentary:
"Imagine the plot twist of the century when your parents reveal their secret millionaire status 🤑💸 Until then, humility and patience are the name of the game! 🕰️😄 #KeepingItReal"
5 months ago
Share →: When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Commentary:
Ah, the circle of tech life: from fixing your parents' computer to becoming the family IT guru for your kids. 🔄💻 It's like a never-ending cycle of "turn it off and on again" wisdom being passed down through the ages. Maybe we are the chosen ones who hold the elusive secrets of computer sorcery! 🔮🧙‍♂️ Just call us the Digital Wizards of the modern era! ✨🧙‍♀️
5 months ago
Share →: The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parenting dilemma: dealing with the lovely assortment of other parents at school events and playdates. 👀👪 It's like a whole new level of social dynamics, complete with awkward conversations and questionable parenting advice. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ But hey, at least it's never a dull moment in the world of parenthood, right? 😅 #ParentingAdventures"
5 months ago
Share →: Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Commentary:
"Oh, look at you, remembering all your kids! So *fancy* 🙄 Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to keep track of my own head! 🤪 #ParentingSkills"
5 months ago
Share →: The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Commentary:
"Oh, Kevin's parents clearly missed out on the booming real estate market! 🏠😂 Maybe if they invested in a security system instead, poor Kevin wouldn't have to MacGyver his way out of trouble every Christmas! 🚨🔒 #HomeAloneRealEstateBlunders"
5 months ago
Share →: The absolute injustice of being asked to come and take away the boxes of junk that you’ve been storing at your parents’ house for 20 years.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of love and patience – the parental purging request for your treasure trove of 'memorabilia'! 📦😅 It's like being asked to part with a piece of your historic treasure map that leads to nostalgic treasures, or at least that's what you tell yourself to avoid tossing those beloved junk boxes!"
5 months ago
Share →: I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Commentary:
"Who knew the Tooth Fairy was such a clever entrepreneur, outsourcing those tooth-collecting duties like a true boss 💼✨ Parental tooth-fairy assistants, reporting for duty! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #ToothFairyInc"