606 Funny procrastination quotes

• I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

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  2 months ago

  before, daily, daily life, embarrassment, humor, humorous, humorous reflection, i, learn, left, lesson, life, life lesson, memoir, never, procrastination, reflection, should, things

• If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

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  2 months ago

  behavior, digital, digital behavior, excuse, failed, honesty, hour, humor, humor about truth, i, just, later, lying, me, online, procrastination, say, truth

• Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

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  2 months ago

  chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task

• I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

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  2 months ago

  adult, adult life, adults, couch, couch potato, humor, humor quote, i, ignore, ignoring, ignoring problems, laziness, life, phone, phone usage, play, potato, problems, procrastination, run, sit, usage

• The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

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  2 months ago

  chores, clean, clean house, cleaning, conflict, house, laziness, motivation, move, procrastination, relax, struggle, Sunday, wanting

• “But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

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  2 months ago

  carefree, end, everything, excuse, going, heat, humor, joke, procrastination, season, seasonal, summer

• The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

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  2 months ago

  asleep, bed, earlier, humor, laziness, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, routine, sleep, still, think, thoughts, time, wake, waking, waking up, why, wish

• Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

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  2 months ago

  am, convinced, existential, humor, i, joke, late, lateness, philosophy, procrastination, real, reality, sarcasm, sorry, time

• If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

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  2 months ago

  advice, anything, away, dramatic, funny advice, humor, humor tactic, humorous, humorous quote, just, procrastination, prophecy, sarcasm, tactic, today, walk, walk away, whisper, witty, wrong

• Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

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  2 months ago

  cd, collection, excuse, found, funny excuse, humor, i, late, lateness, music, nostalgia, old, old technology, procrastination, sorry, technology

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