13 Funny professional quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

  Commentary:
  "How about 'dynamic crisis manager'? 🔥🚒😅"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

  Commentary:
  "Sign me up for the Olympic Bra-thlon! 🤼‍♀️🏆😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic “before you go” hook — because nothing says 'happy hour' like a surprise boss mission right at the exit! 😅🚪💼 It’s the professional version of “Do you have a minute?” just as you're about to escape. Guess we all have that moment when our escape plans get hijacked by one last “important” task! 😂🤦‍♂️

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  2 months ago

  Share →: If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

  Commentary:
  Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you're thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

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  3 months ago

  Share →: User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic "User" – the secret code word for 'idiot' in the language of computer professionals 🤓💻 It's like the tech world's equivalent of saying "bless your heart" in the South! Just remember, when they say "User error," what they really mean is "Oops, someone pressed the wrong button again" 😆 #TechSlang #UserError

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if pointing out the obvious was an Olympic sport, you'd definitely be taking home the gold medal! Keep up the good work, Captain Obvious!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

  Commentary:
  "Career advice: Work hard now, so LinkedIn can work harder for you later! 🚀💼 #LinkedInEscapePlan"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

  Commentary:
  Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

  Commentary:
  Well, well, look at you being all diplomatic and professional with your "This was identified early on as a likely outcome" 🧐 Translation: "I told you so!" 😂 It's like sprinkling a dash of class onto a serving of humble pie! 🥧 #SubtleVictory

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to LinkedIn posts, it seems like some people have mistaken quantity for quality – the longer the post, the deeper it can dive into the realm of BS! 🙈💬 #LinkedInLogic"

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