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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Being a consultant would be fun. Like “hmmm… maybe! Here’s your invoice.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

36 minutes ago

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Going viral on TikTok:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Live now on YouTube:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Trending via Twitch:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Trending via Messenger:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Home » Funny Restaurant Quotes

40 Funny restaurant quotes

Funny restaurant quotes serve up a delicious blend of humor and dining experiences! 🍽️😂 From comical encounters with waitstaff to amusing observations about food and ambiance, these quotes add a playful twist to our culinary adventures. Whether you’re reminiscing about a memorable meal or just need a laugh over your next order, funny restaurant quotes are the perfect appetizer for your day. 😄🍔

New funny restaurant quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Commentary:
Feeling fancy while contemplating existential questions with a $19 burger 😎🍔💸
5 days ago
Share →: If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Commentary:
Supersizing McWieners? That's a plot twist even my taste buds didn't see coming! 🌭🍔😂
6 days ago
Share →: You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Commentary:
When your pronunciation is as confused as your choice of fork 🍴😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: No one has ever believed in me more than this waitress, who brought me buffalo wings and a single wet nap.

Commentary:
"When a waitress believes in you so much, she gives you wings and a wet nap backup plan! 🙌🍗🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"
1 month ago
Share →: They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Commentary:
"Guess I'm on their do-not-en-banh mi list! 🍞🚫😂 #PhoRealTho"
2 months ago
Share →: She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Commentary:
"Exploring new territories—gastro-ventures and more! 🌍🍽️😏 #BiteAndSeek"
3 months ago
Share →: The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Commentary:
RIP to the inventor of autocorrect – may he finally find peace without any ducking typos! 🙏🏼🦆😂 #RestauRANTInPeace
4 months ago
Share →: Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Commentary:
"Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was. 🤔🍴 'Is this a restaurant or a customer service training center?' 😂👩‍🍳 #ServiceSoGoodItWasActuallyConfusing"
4 months ago
Share →: Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Commentary:
"Seriously, Subway? Asking for a tip when I basically just played sandwich architect with you? 🤔🥪 Maybe I should start charging them for my stellar sandwich-making skills! 💸😂"

For even more funny restaurant quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny restaurant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

761 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,923

Funny Quotes Topics

13,892

Funny Quotes Images

10,923

36 minutes ago

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Spotted on Telegram:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Live now on Telegram:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Spotted on X:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Live now on Facebook:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Spotted on Reddit:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Just landed via YouTube:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

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