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12 Funny retirement quotes

Trending Funny Retirement Quotes 🔥

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.
I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.
Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.
If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.
Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

New funny retirement quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Commentary:
"Saturday Night Fever's new remix: a dance between the couch, the tissue box, and a steamy bowl of soup! 🛋️🤧🍜✨"
5 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401(k) when you've got a DeLorean 😎⏰ Blast from the past or leap into the future? The '80s are calling, and they want their parachute pants back! 🕺🕰️ #BackToTheFuture #RetirementGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Commentary:
"Who needs a 401k when your retirement plan involves running like Forrest Gump? 🏃‍♂️💨 Clearly, this person prefers sprinting to saving for the long haul! 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🏴‍☠️ That's the spirit! Who needs boring old 401(k) plans when you can have a treasure map and a trusty shovel instead, right? 💰 Just make sure you have a backup plan in case you encounter more "X marks the spot" than actual booty! 😉 #RetirementGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Commentary:
"Petition to lower the retirement age. I'm tired now. 💤 Who needs to wait for the golden years when you've already hit bronze, right? 😂 Time to trade in the alarms for afternoon naps! 💼➡️😴 #RetirementDreams"
5 months ago
Share →: I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs a significant other when you can have a significant savings account, am I right? 💰🤷‍♂️ Retirement plan: 1, Relationships: 0. #PrioritiesInCheck"
5 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"
5 months ago
Share →: Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Commentary:
🤑💸💭 Bank: "Is your 401k enough to retire on?" Me: "You are my bank, you know it's not." 😅💸💼 Sounds like the bank needs to work on their optimism game!
5 months ago
Share →: I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Commentary:
"By the time you hit your 80s, you'll be running for Congress… literally! 🏃‍♂️💨 Who says you can't be a political powerhouse in your golden years? Time to show those young guns what experience and a good pair of running shoes can do! 🌟 #SeniorCitizenInCongress"
5 months ago
Share →: My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"