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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m not even a 2nd choice, I’m like an 8th choice, sometimes a 10th.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Thank you, Facebook memories, for constantly reminding me of the shitty taste in men I had for the majority of my life.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Just shared via Discord:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Just shared via Messenger:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Going bananas on X:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

14 Funny road trip quotes

Funny road trip quotes 🚗💨 are the perfect way to add laughs and good vibes to your travel adventures! Whether you’re stuck in traffic or cruising down endless highways, these witty sayings keep the journey entertaining and lighthearted. Buckle up, hit play on your favorite playlist, and get ready to smile as you embrace the silly, unexpected moments that make every road trip unforgettable! 😂🌟🚙

New funny road trip quotes 👇

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All funny road trip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

70 shares on X this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

76 shares on X this month:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up alive again.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were to “picture everybody in the room naked,” I would be stunned and in awe of the beauty and diversity of the human form before me. But thanks for the advice.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever want someone so bad it pisses you off a little.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,473

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Donuts hug you from the inside.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Just shared via Slack:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Spotted on Reddit:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The Scream movies were believable in the ’90s, but no one with any common sense answers unknown numbers on their phones anymore.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Going viral on Reddit:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Seen just now on Slack:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

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