56 Funny self-improvement quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

  Commentary:
  "Same, but my genes seem to be more 'relaxed fit' 😄👖 #GeneticsGotJokes"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the ultimate challenge – the 'Get Off the Couch' program. Step 1: Look at the couch longingly. Step 2: Contemplate the possibility of standing up. Step 3: Take a deep breath and consider the benefits of movement. Stay tuned for Step 12: Actually getting up… maybe."

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal 'work in progress' anthem – more like a masterpiece in procrastination! 🎨😂 At this rate, they'll have a full gallery of not-so-masterpieces in no time. Keep up the non-work, folks! 👩‍🎨💼"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic gateway to addiction: feeling good. 🤣 Just remember, everything in moderation… especially feeling good! 😜"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

  Commentary:
  Well, who needs a life coach when you've got rejection coming at you left and right? 🤷‍♂️ Looks like even the team didn't want you, but hey, at least you have a great sense of humor to fall back on! 😉 Just think of it as an opportunity to excel in solo sports like napping or Netflix marathons. 🏆 Keep that chin up, champ!

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

  Commentary:
  "Me being my own worst critic: a full-time job with benefits and overtime. Sorry haters, your services are not needed here. 🤷‍♀️🥇 #SelfDeprecationGameStrong"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

  Commentary:
  "When your level of hating needs an upgrade, just remember Kendrick is setting the bar high! 😂🙌 #HateGoalsActivated"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

  Commentary:
  "Eating for two: me and the fabulous future version of myself who apparently loves carbs just as much as I do! 🍕🥗😂 #FutureGoals #CarbLover"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of giving up – always evolving, always whimsical! 🤷‍♂️💫 Who said quitting had to be boring anyway? Keep exploring those creative avenues to surrender, you trendsetter, you! 😉🎉"

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