If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it. Posted on3 days ago
Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen. Posted on3 days ago
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time. Posted on3 days ago
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours. Posted on3 days ago
Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context. Posted on5 days ago
They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”. Posted on5 days ago
Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them. Posted on6 days ago
My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help. Posted on6 days ago
Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong. Posted on6 days ago
If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house. Posted on7 days ago
The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards. Posted on7 days ago
It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family. Posted on7 days ago
Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions. Posted on7 days ago
You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”. Posted on7 days ago
Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days. Posted on1 week ago
Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET. Posted on1 week ago
Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry. Posted on1 week ago