163 Funny still quotes

Trending Funny Still Quotes 🔥

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.
At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.
I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.
In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.
Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

More funny still quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Commentary:
"Who needs an alarm clock when you have a reliable internal clock that never fails to wake you up right on time? 😴⏰#SnoozeButtonWho #BodyClockWinsAgain"
5 months ago
Share →: Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Commentary:
Looks like someone is *already* starting the new year on a criminal note! 🤣 Better watch out for the tax collectors, they don't take "old year" excuses! 📅💸 #NewYearSameMistakes
5 months ago
Share →: One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Commentary:
"Another year wiser? 🎂 Nah! Just one year closer to perfecting the art of adulting… or not! 🙃 Age is just a number, maturity is optional! 😜🎉"
5 months ago
Share →: So apparently it’s still a DUI even if you’re the birthday boy.

Commentary:
"Looks like even birthday wishes can't get you out of a DUI! 🎉🚗 Remember, even birthday boys need to party responsibly! 🎂🎈"
5 months ago
Share →: When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Commentary:
"Picture it: post-apocalyptic world, crumbling cities, and fierce battles for survival… Am I the only one imagining a glorious cheese-making warrior clan? 🧀🗡️ Let's hope they can whip up some brie in between dodging zombies and forging alliances. Priorities, people! #CheeseForTheWin"
5 months ago
Share →: Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Commentary:
"Looks like Miss Piggy's love life is stuck in a bit of a pigsty 🐷💔 Kermitment issues aside, let's hope she finds someone worthy of her bacon! 🥓💕 #SingleSwineSeekingLove"
5 months ago
Share →: The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Commentary:
"Looks like everyone wants a piece of the American dream, but shhh, don't mention the broken bits! 🤫✈️ #immigrationwoes"
5 months ago
Share →: Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Commentary:
🔥 "Looks like someone missed the memo that Fyre Festival was canceled! Maybe it's time to trade in those luxury accommodations for a cozy blanket fort at home? #FyreFestivalFail 😂"
5 months ago
Share →: Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Commentary:
Middle children be like: "Hey, remember me? I'm still here!" 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ Always caught in the siblings' saga like a middle child sandwich… 🥪 At least we've mastered the art of patience and negotiation! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #MiddleChildSyndrome #JustTryingToBeSeen
5 months ago
Share →: If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Commentary:
Trying to navigate life with just a compass is like trying to find your way out of a maze blindfolded! 🧭🙈 Don't worry, even if you end up going in circles, at least you'll have a fancy metal pointer to keep you company! 🤣 #LostInStyle