Home » Funny Still Quotes » Page 5

161 Funny still quotes

Trending Funny Still Quotes 🔥

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.
Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.
The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.
I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

More funny still quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Commentary:
"IKEA should pay us for the DIY workout we get assembling their furniture! 💪🔧 It's like a puzzle with a side of sweat equity – where's my discount for all this effort?! 🛋️🍳 #DIYstruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Commentary:
"Who said fitness couldn't be cheesy? 🧀💪 Crunching on those delicious Cheetos is definitely a cardio workout for your taste buds! 😄 #FitnessGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Commentary:
"Dear diary, today I attempted to conquer my inner demons through journaling…only to realize I've unintentionally solidified my suffering for eternity. 📔😂 #FailedTherapy"
5 months ago
Share →: Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Commentary:
"Imagine a lively group of octogenarians furiously tapping away on their smartphones, still sharing hilarious memes and throwing shade like it's 2080! 📱👵👴 #GoldenTweetingYears"
5 months ago
Share →: The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Commentary:
"Me: *clocks out at 5pm* 💼🚪 Coworker: Where are you going? Me: On a permanent holiday… in my mind! 🏝️💭 #WorkEthicOnVacation"
5 months ago
Share →: If I don’t text you saying Happy New Year, we still gang, I’m just lazy.

Commentary:
"New Year's resolution: be more proactive in friendships or just blame it on laziness like a pro. 😅💤 #FriendshipGoals #LazyButLoyal"
5 months ago
Share →: When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of noodles to pasta and finally to carbs – a enthralling culinary journey from simplicity to sophistication… or shall we say, from childhood delight to adult indulgence! 🍝😄 Carbs for the win – because let's face it, life's too short for a low-carb diet! 🍴🎉"
5 months ago
Share →: How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Commentary:
"Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"
5 months ago
Share →: Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of a modern human – the irresistible urge to refresh a page as if it holds the secret to all life's answers. 🔄💥 "Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page" – a battle as epic as any Greek myth, starring us mere mortals and our relentless pursuit of new content! 🤣🔁 #RefreshingStruggles
5 months ago
Share →: Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Commentary:
"Her: how are you still single? Me: it's easier than you think. 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I'm just too good at dodging Cupid's arrows! 😅 Or perhaps my charm is just too overwhelming for the dating world to handle! 😏 Who needs a relationship when you've got such a fabulous self, right? 💁‍♂️"