154 Funny still quotes

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  5 months ago

  View →: Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.
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  5 months ago

  View →: How is it still this week?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.
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  5 months ago

  View →: My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!
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  5 months ago

  View →: Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.
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  5 months ago

  View →: In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.
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  5 months ago

  View →: “What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.
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  5 months ago

  View →: They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.
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  5 months ago

  View →: How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.
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  5 months ago

  View →: No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
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  5 months ago

  View →: It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?
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  5 months ago

  View →: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

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