109 Funny us quotes

• Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

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  3 months ago

  after, call, chicken, dating, digger, expectation, gold, gold digger, honey, humor, man, meal, men, pay, piece, stereotype, us, woman, yacht

• Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

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  3 months ago

  25, advice, after, age, before, brain, decision, girl, girls, humor, i, kid, kids, marriage, married, reasonable, relationship, us, why, working

• Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

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  3 months ago

  commercial, commercials, complaint, even, humor, maybe, paid, paying, payment, service, services, stop, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us, volume, watch

• Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

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  3 months ago

  15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us

• Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

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  3 months ago

  access, believe, hard, humor, infinite, information, intelligence, irony, paradox, still, technology, us

• Extroverts love our energy. That’s why they suck it out of us.

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  4 months ago

  energy, extrovert, humor, interaction, introvert, love, personality, social, social interaction, suck, us, why

• It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

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  4 months ago

  always, available, bill, customer, customer service, expense, finance, humor, month, monthly, monthly bill, never, payment, sarcasm, service, subscription, surprise, us

• I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

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  4 months ago

  bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why

• Marriage is just asking each other, “What do you want to do for dinner?” and then replying, “No, not that,” until death do us part.

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  5 months ago

  asking, communication, death, decision making, dinner, humor, just, love, marriage, question, relationship, reply, replying, spouse, us, want

• I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

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  5 months ago

  again, annoy, commitment, dead, death, humor, i, ID, marriage, married, relationship, someone, spouse, think, us

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