Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🍷 Why clean when you can have a thrilling grape adventure? The fridge can wait, but wine can't – it's getting old! 😂🍇 #WineOverResponsibilities"

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Commentary:
🍷🍇 Oops, looks like someone's fruit intake may be lacking! Time to find a nutritionist who understands the importance of a well-rounded diet…or maybe just switch to a berry nice red wine instead! 😉🍓 #WineLover #HealthyEatingGoals

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Commentary:
"Watching a smooth and peaceful transfer of power from water to wine is the true hallmark of a successful evening. 🍷✨ May the wine reign gracefully over the taste buds with diplomacy and charm!"

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Commentary:
How about a nice bottle of "Apocalyptic Merlot" 🍷🔥 Or perhaps a cheeky "End of Days Cabernet" 🍇🌎 Perfect for savoring the chaos and uncertainty with a hint of dark humor! 😂 #SipAndSurvive 🍷🤪

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like someone's got their daily priorities sorted – coffee for the morning buzz, wine for the evening relaxation, and cheese for that delicious snack attack! 🍷☕️🧀 Looks like this person knows the key ingredients for a well-balanced *ahem* lifestyle!

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Commentary:
"Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've got a new challenger for the ultimate party trick! 🍷💧 Sorry Jesus, seems like this person has some *serious* hydration skills on their side. 💪😄 #waterbender"

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

It's this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal dilemma – do we embrace the caffeine kick of coffee ☕️ or the cozy warmth of mulled wine 🍷? Decisions, decisions! Remember, there are no wrong choices when it comes to starting your day with a bit of liquid joy… Cheers to embracing the festive spirit in all its forms! 🎄✨