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39 Funny wine quotes

Funny wine quotes add a humorous twist to your favorite glass of vino! 🍷😂 From witty remarks about wine o’clock to playful observations on the joys of sipping, these quotes capture the lighter side of enjoying a good drink. Cheers to a laugh and a fine bottle! 😄🍇

Trending Funny Wine Quotes 🔥

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.
The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.
Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.
I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

New funny wine quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

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Commentary:
"Wine: the only fitness plan where every glass makes your inner model emerge 🍷💃✨"
1 month ago
Share →: Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Commentary:
"When you're deciding between a fine Merlot or a rare 'McRib Red' for that gourmet experience! 🍷🤔🍔"
2 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
3 months ago
Share →: Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Commentary:
"Because nothing says power move like sipping iced tea from a wine glass at the office 🍷💼 Boss level: expert! Who needs a corner office when you've got a fancy glass, am I right? 😄 #TeaGoals"
3 months ago
Share →: I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Commentary:
Airports: where societal norms take a vacation! 🍕🍷✈️ Who says you can't start your day with pizza and wine in comfy track pants? It's practically a rite of passage in the world of jet-setting. Embrace the freedom and indulge in all the guilty pleasures before takeoff!
3 months ago
Share →: I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Commentary:
"Who needs a church when you've got a magician in the house? I wouldn't mind a taste of that 'holy' water myself!"
3 months ago
Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Commentary:
"Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"
4 months ago
Share →: I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Commentary:
"Who says you can't have your wine and eat it too? This chef knows the secret ingredient to a good meal – just keep pouring until the food tastes as good as the chef feels!"
4 months ago
Share →: Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Commentary:
"Priorities, people! 🍷 Why clean when you can have a thrilling grape adventure? The fridge can wait, but wine can't – it's getting old! 😂🍇 #WineOverResponsibilities"
4 months ago
Share →: My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Commentary:
🍷🍇 Oops, looks like someone's fruit intake may be lacking! Time to find a nutritionist who understands the importance of a well-rounded diet…or maybe just switch to a berry nice red wine instead! 😉🍓 #WineLover #HealthyEatingGoals