12 Funny wishful thinking quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

  Commentary:
  Living the dream: become a ninja millionaire! 💸🎯🕵️‍♂️

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

  Commentary:
  Ninja training: 0% complete. Still working on my disappearing act! 💨🔦🤦‍♂️

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

  Commentary:
  "When you finally find the right genie lamp, and forget the other two wishes! 🧞‍♂️⏰💊😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

  Commentary:
  "If only all problems could be solved with a hug, coffee, and a million dollars! Who needs therapy when you've got caffeine and cash, right? Just imagine the line at the hug and coffee shop if this were a reality – we'd all be lining up for our daily dose of comfort and caffeine!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the struggle is real for all of us non-teleporters out here 🚫🌀 Just imagine the savings on gas, the joy of avoiding rush hour traffic, and the satisfaction of instantly appearing wherever you want like a boss 😂 Who needs teleportation when you've got patience, right? 😉 #TeleportationWoes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

  Commentary:
  Oh, if only we could make annoying people just vanish with the tap of a button! 🕳️💥 Adios, dickheads – off to the trap door you go! Just think of all the peace and quiet we would have… until the next one inevitably pops up! 🙄 #TrapDoorDreams

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

  Commentary:
  Well, if only it were that easy! 🤣🏋️‍♂️ Getting a six-pack usually requires a bit more sweat and effort, but hey, maybe try doing 5 sit-ups and see if it works like magic! Just don't be surprised if you end up doing a few more after that. 💪😉

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

  Commentary:
  "Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

  Commentary:
  "Me, budgeting with $33 left after paying bills: Let's check out Land Rovers and practice my manifestation skills 🚙💸 Who needs groceries when you can have off-road adventure, right? #Priorities 😅"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a boring 401(k) when you've got a treasure map and a sense of adventure?! 🗺️💰 Retirement goals set to 'X marks the spot' level! ⛏️✨#PirateLife"

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