Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,744

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Trending via Pinterest:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Shared recently on Threads:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Going viral on Discord:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

More funny quotes 👇

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

1 week ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

0

1 week ago

around, cart, guy, guys, humor, nostalgia, push, push cart, railroad, railroad track, seesaw, track, transportation, travel
Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

0

1 week ago

believe, brother, brothers, childhood, humor, i, Kane, kid, kids, let, misconception, Santa, undertaker, wrestling
It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

0

1 week ago

attractive, attractiveness, bridge, change, comparison, cool, flattering, friend, humor, image, insecurity, jump, less, me, myself, perception, photo, seeing, self, self-image, want
Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

0

1 week ago

financial, financial struggle, housing, humor, i, irony, just, money, paid, place, rent, starve, starving, struggle, survival, warm, warmth
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

0

1 week ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

0

1 week ago

game, games, gaming, having, humor, i, live, love, man, reason, reason to live, shoutout, video, video game
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

0

1 week ago

craving, dessert, food, heart, humor, i, sweet, sweet tooth, table, temptation, tooth, walk, wants, whisper
The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

0

1 week ago

escalator, faster, humor, joke, only, speed, thing, wordplay
Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

0

1 week ago

advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

You will watch an old classic movie that kind of sucks. Then, on the IMDb trivia, it says, this was the first time a film director ever pointed the camera at the sun.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Live now on Reddit:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just landed via Discord:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spotted on Twitch:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Going viral on YouTube:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Seen just now on X:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Spotted on Telegram:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨