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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,936

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,936

4 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Just shared via Slack:

I love when my Uber driver and I both shut the hell up for a full ride.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Making waves on WeChat:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Trending via Instagram:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Just shared via Reddit:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Spotted on YouTube:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Home » Funny Alone Quotes

75 Funny alone quotes

Funny alone quotes 😂 are perfect for those moments when you’re flying solo and need a good laugh. Whether you’re curled up on the couch 🛋️ with a tub of ice cream 🍦 or dancing around the kitchen to your favorite tunes 🎶, these quotes will remind you that being alone can be hilariously entertaining. Embrace the joy of your own company and discover the humor in solitude with these witty words! 💃😄

New funny alone quotes 👇

13 hours ago
Share →: The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to end up in the exclusive club of one! 🏆🙃🚪
20 hours ago
Share →: Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're perfecting the art of couch yoga 🍺🛋️😆
1 day ago
Share →: Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Commentary:
Laundry is my arch-nemesis; it scares me more than binge-watching horror movies alone 🤦‍♀️🙈🧺
2 days ago
Share →: Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Commentary:
So that's why you always know when the coffee is brewing 😄👽🛸
2 days ago
Share →: Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Commentary:
When fake laughter workouts become part of the job description 🤣💼🤦‍♂️
7 days ago
Share →: Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet not interrupted by life advice from that nosy neighbor! 🙉🤫🏝️
1 week ago
Share →: It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Commentary:
When the small talk supply chain runs dry by midweek 😂🙌 #SilenceIsGolden
2 weeks ago
Share →: Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Commentary:
Paws before you scare! 😅🐶🚶‍♂️🛑
2 weeks ago
Share →: All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Commentary:
Sounds like we need more practice in the ancient art of not doing anything! 🧘‍♂️🛋️😅
2 weeks ago
Share →: If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶‍♂️

For even more funny alone quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny alone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,936

Funny Quotes Topics

14,747

Funny Quotes Images

11,936

4 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My favorite part of adulting is borrowing money from myself and paying myself back.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

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