204 Funny am quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

  Commentary:
  That’s the ultimate self-love move—who needs an audience when you’ve got your own comedy club? 😂👏 Whether I’m cracking myself up or you’re just “happening” to be there, I’ve got the best jokes in town! 🎤🤪 Keep laughing, folks!

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs regrets when you can just sleep through them? 😴😆 Mastering the art of problem-solving, one snooze button at a time! ⏰🛏️ #MorningRegretsNoMore"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: “It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

  Commentary:
  "I thought I had a one-track mind, turns out it's more like a crowded party bus 🧠🚌 #MindMeldingProblems"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, joining the USA in that downward spiral into a multi-layered cake of sadness and despair, huh? 🍰😅 Hang in there, at least you'll have company in the depression party! 🎉🇺🇸 #NotAloneInTheStruggle"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I am cassette tape years old.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good old days of rewinding with a pencil and hoping your mixtape survived the car stereo! 🎶💾 #ThrowbackThursday"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, I see we share the same 'say now, think later' philosophy! 🙊 Just total improvisation here, folks. Surprise! 🤷‍♂️ Who needs a filter when you have a spontaneous burst of brilliance waiting to be unleashed? 😂"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the mental gymnastics of self-awareness – a never-ending loop of "I am" and "I think"! 🤔💭 It's like a philosophical merry-go-round that never stops spinning! 🔄 Just remember, Descartes' brain never rests – it's a real workout up there! 💪🧠

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

  Commentary:
  👏👏 The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have felt like a one-man standing ovation auditioning for the role of "Awkward Encourager." Sometimes you just gotta throw caution to the wind and applaud your way through life's uncertainties! 😄👏

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

  Commentary:
  🌞 "I hate the saying: 'Get up, the sun is shining!' What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis? 🌿 Maybe photosynthesis isn't such a bad idea… at least it's a bright idea for a lazy morning! Just don't forget to water yourself occasionally! 💦"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

  Commentary:
  "Feeling so tired that even your exhaustion needs a nap? 💤 Sounds like you're on the fast track to becoming a professional sleeper! 😂💤"

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