A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops. Posted on1 day ago
Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones. Posted on1 day ago
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses. Posted on4 days ago
One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me. Posted on4 days ago
I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off. Posted on5 days ago
Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that. Posted on1 week ago
Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday. Posted on1 week ago
The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.” Posted on1 week ago
50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs. Posted on1 week ago
I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday? Posted on1 week ago
I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on. Posted on1 week ago