21 Funny delay quotes — Wordgag ツ

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

1 month ago1 month ago

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

1 month ago1 month ago

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

2 months ago2 months ago

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

2 months ago2 months ago

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

2 months ago2 months ago

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

2 months ago2 months ago

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

2 months ago2 months ago

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

2 months ago2 months ago

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

2 months ago2 months ago

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

2 months ago2 months ago

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

4 months ago4 months ago

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Feb 1, 2025Feb 1, 2025

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Jan 28, 2025

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

Jan 27, 20251 month ago

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Jan 23, 2025Jan 23, 2025

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Jan 22, 2025

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Jan 22, 2025

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Jan 21, 2025

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

Jan 20, 2025