I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I'm just annoying.

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Commentary:
"Ah, the fine art of rolling eyes – some achieve it through romance, others through sheer annoyance. It's all about perspective 😂👀 #EyeRollingExpert"

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of dating – like solving a complex puzzle with no manual! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ But hey, patience is key 😉 Who knows, maybe they're just holding out for someone as fabulous as they are! 💁‍♀️💕"

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parenting dilemma: dealing with the lovely assortment of other parents at school events and playdates. 👀👪 It's like a whole new level of social dynamics, complete with awkward conversations and questionable parenting advice. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ But hey, at least it's never a dull moment in the world of parenthood, right? 😅 #ParentingAdventures"

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Commentary:
Oh, the adults table – where seasoned pros in the art of loud debates and passionate discussions gather to show off their tantrum-free skills! 🍽️👶💥 #DinnerDrama #AdultingLikeAPro

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic family trip experience: where the kids are united in their love for complaining! 🌞🚗👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Who needs wifi when you have the ultimate entertainment of sibling squabbles and parental eye-rolls? 😂 #FamilyBonding"

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Middle children as adults still trying to get attention because the oldest is being dramatic and the younger child is getting away with everything.

Commentary:
Middle children be like: "Hey, remember me? I'm still here!" 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ Always caught in the siblings' saga like a middle child sandwich… 🥪 At least we've mastered the art of patience and negotiation! 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #MiddleChildSyndrome #JustTryingToBeSeen

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Commentary:
🚲 Seeing a couple on a tandem bike always raises the eternal question: who drew the short straw in this pedaling partnership? 😅 It's like a two-wheeled test of patience and teamwork. Just hope they don't hit a bump in the road… or have a tandem tiff! #RidingInSync

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Commentary:
"Breaking news: in a shocking turn of events, our beloved people pleaser has declared independence! 🎉 Brace yourselves, folks, change is coming! 🙌 This is a developing story, stay tuned for more updates on the quest for self-care and boundaries! 🚀 #NewEraBegins"

Me, when someone's obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone's not obsessed with me: WTF?

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Commentary:
"When someone's obsessed with you: Cue the 'Yikes!' soundtrack 🙈. When someone's not obsessed with you: Time to bring out the 'WTF?!' dance moves 💃. Moral of the story – balance is key, folks! ⚖️😂"

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Commentary:
"Ah, the dreaded togetherness! 😂 Who needs material wealth when you can have endless family drama instead? 🤷‍♂️🤣 #familybonding #dramaqueen"