130 Funny eat quotes

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  4 months ago

  View →: I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.
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  4 months ago

  View →: When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”
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  4 months ago

  View →: Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”
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  4 months ago

  View →: There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?
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  4 months ago

  View →: Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.
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  4 months ago

  View →: “I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine
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  4 months ago

  View →: I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.
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  4 months ago

  View →: If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.
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  4 months ago

  View →: No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”
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  4 months ago

  View →: Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.
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  4 months ago

  View →: 90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”
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  4 months ago

  View →: To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.
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  5 months ago

  View →: As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

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