51 Funny escape quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

  Commentary:
  "New conversation hack: Sock it to 'em! 🧦😂 They'll be speechless (and possibly sockless)!"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

  Commentary:
  "So if you need me, you know where to find me… Just kidding, I'll be the one brooding under a desk fort until 5 PM! ⛺️🏔️🤣"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

  Commentary:
  "Me leaving the zoo like: 🐧🚗 'He followed me home, I swear!' 😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

  Commentary:
  "Finally found my true calling: forest life coach for squirrels! 🌲🐿️🗣️"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, so that’s your secret 'get out of jury duty free' card! 🃏🤣 Just make sure your alibi doesn't have WiFi! 📡🚫"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

  Commentary:
  "When your relationship status is 'CEO of Small Talk Evasion' 😅🚪🏃‍♀️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

  Commentary:
  "Forget self-help books, I'm off to gallop my problems away! 🐎🤣 #WildHorseWisdom"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

  …

  Commentary:
  "When the exam turns into a nature documentary 🎬🦜 because suddenly, every squirrel is more interesting than calculus! 📚➗😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

  Commentary:
  "Guess true love really *is* priceless—or at least requires a 6-digit PIN! 👑💌💸"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

  Commentary:
  "Introvert Alert 🕺🥳: I'll be there, scouting out the snack-covered shadows like a pro! 🌚🍕"

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