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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I invoiced my boss two extra hours for the dream I had about work last night. I’m considering that overtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

1 minute ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Trending via WeChat:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

Freshly posted on TikTok:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

Spotted on X:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Home » Funny Escape Quotes » Page 2

47 Funny escape quotes

More funny escape quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Commentary:
"Oh, so that’s your secret 'get out of jury duty free' card! 🃏🤣 Just make sure your alibi doesn't have WiFi! 📡🚫"
1 month ago
Share →: My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Commentary:
"When your relationship status is 'CEO of Small Talk Evasion' 😅🚪🏃‍♀️"
2 months ago
Share →: I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Commentary:
"Forget self-help books, I'm off to gallop my problems away! 🐎🤣 #WildHorseWisdom"
2 months ago
Share →: When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

…

Commentary:
"When the exam turns into a nature documentary 🎬🦜 because suddenly, every squirrel is more interesting than calculus! 📚➗😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Commentary:
"Guess true love really *is* priceless—or at least requires a 6-digit PIN! 👑💌💸"
2 months ago
Share →: Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Commentary:
"Introvert Alert 🕺🥳: I'll be there, scouting out the snack-covered shadows like a pro! 🌚🍕"
3 months ago
Share →: Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Commentary:
"Therapy bills piling up? 🤑 Just take a stroll in the woods and play hide and seek with society! 🌲 Who needs a therapist when you have nature's embrace? 😂 #LostAndLovingIt"
5 months ago
Share →: Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Commentary:
"Maybe those who love escape rooms just prefer their puzzles without the added challenge of assembling furniture 🤔🔍 #EscapeRoomVsIKEA"
5 months ago
Share →: Relationship status: he escaped.

Commentary:
"Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Commentary:
"Watch out when I'm too quiet – I'm either plotting my grand escape 🏃‍♂️ or dreaming up your demise with a sprinkle of sugar on top 🍭. Just another day in the life of a silent mastermind! 😈 #PlotTwist"

For even more funny escape quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny escape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1886 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,048

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,048

1 minute ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just shared via Twitch:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Just landed via X:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Going viral on Threads:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Just landed via YouTube:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Going viral on Slack:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Shared recently on Discord:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

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