14 Funny father quotes

• Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  anyone, blast, concern, dad, distraction, else, family, father, full, habit, house, humor, just, loud, phone, phones, video, videos, volume, watch

• My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.

  ---

  0

  3 weeks ago

  child, equivalent, family, father, humor, joke, kid, kids, parenting, sibling, time, want, zero

• If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  alcohol, anger, angry, ban, drunk, father, hunger, hungry, lot, memory, ones, people, stoned, weed

• I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  bit, daughter, family, father, forgiveness, humor, i, little, lose, mind, realize, relationship, think, wife

• “Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  comedy, end, family, father, home, humor, important, meeting, meetings, mom, money, nothing, online, online meeting, parenting, rich, said, technology, thanks, wealth, work, work from home, Zoom

• I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  airflow, childhood, conversation, dad, family, father, home, humor, i, miss, opening, talking, ventilation, Windows

• Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  absent, absent father, actually, boss, daily, daily presence, day, distance, dynamics, emotional, emotional distance, emotional unavailability, emotionally, every, family, family dynamics, father, father figure, figure, final, humor, life, lol, met, parent-child, parent-child relationship, presence, relationship, sucks, unavailability, unavailable

• As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  40s, age, even, family, father, humor, husband, loud, new, New Year’s resolution, proud, resolution, sneeze, year, year’s

• Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  benefits, connection, father, friends, getting, humor, internship, job, me, network, opportunity, relationship

• Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

  ---

  0

  2 months ago

  always, cat, complaint, conversation, father, garden, humor, neighbor, okay, running, tell

All funny father quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌