82 Funny help quotes

• I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

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  1 week ago

  clothing, fashion, getting, help, honesty, humor, i, jean, jeans, just, lie, relationship, sex, skinny, skinny jean, struggle

• I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

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  4 weeks ago

  advice, fine, getting, help, humor, i, partner, recommend, relationship, support, yourself

• When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

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  1 month ago

  advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where

• Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

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  1 month ago

  50s, aging, forgetfulness, health, help, humor, memory, remember, reminder, supplement, take, today, welcome

• I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

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  1 month ago

  bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task

• Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

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  2 months ago

  AirPod, AirPods, am, dropped, everyday, everyday problem, everything, frustration, God, help, humor, i, item, lost, lost item, me, only, please, prayer, problem, technology, where

• Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

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  2 months ago

  computing, hardware, help, humor, joke, let, me, pun, software, tech, tech joke, technology, turn

• At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

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  2 months ago

  able, bedtime, beer, being, drinking, frustration, help, humor, i, insomnia, maybe, point, relaxation, sleep, sleeplessness, throw, towel

• If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

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  2 months ago

  assistance, even, failure, frustration, help, humor, just, let, me, position, problem, sarcasm, worse, worse position

• Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

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  2 months ago

  audacity, bigger, carry, fashion, fashion joke, gender, gender stereotype, help, humor, jeans, joke, men’s, men’s jeans, pocket, pocket size, pockets, size, stereotype

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