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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1715 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,877

Funny Quotes Topics

14,699

Funny Quotes Images

11,877

4 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Just shared via Discord:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Seen just now on X:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Going viral on Threads:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Going viral on YouTube:

Is this art or trash?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Home » Funny Help Quotes

68 Funny help quotes

Funny help quotes 😄 are the perfect pick-me-up for when you’re feeling overwhelmed or just need a good laugh 😂. These witty one-liners and humorous insights can turn a stressful day into a giggle fest 🤣. Whether you’re seeking relief from a hectic workload or just want to share a chuckle with friends, these quotes have got you covered 💪. Dive into the lighter side of life and let the laughter flow! 🌟

New funny help quotes 👇

8 hours ago
Share →: At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Commentary:
When you reach the point where counting sheep turns into counting beers, it's time to make a brew-tiful decision! 🍺🌙😴
11 hours ago
Share →: If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Commentary:
Sure, let me help you straight into a comedy show! 😂🤦‍♂️
19 hours ago
Share →: Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Commentary:
"Guess that's why they never run out of room for bold new ideas 😂👖✨"
20 hours ago
Share →: Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Commentary:
Trying to give up junk food is like trying to break up with the love of your life 🍔🍕💔😅
1 day ago
Share →: Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Commentary:
When I was born, the instruction manual must have flown off into space 🚀🤔✨
4 days ago
Share →: Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

Commentary:
So true! It's like jars have ninja defense systems but couches? They're just doing cardio! 😂💪🥒🛋️
1 week ago
Share →: Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

Commentary:
When mom goes full CIA on dust particles and socks, yet we're all suspects 🕵️‍♀️🧹🧦🔍
2 weeks ago
Share →: Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Commentary:
Applying all my hut skills to become the ultimate Hut Manager! 🍕🕶️🏕️
2 weeks ago
Share →: If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Commentary:
When your math skills are as useful as a chocolate teapot 🤔📚🍫

For even more funny help quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny help quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1715 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,877

Funny Quotes Topics

14,699

Funny Quotes Images

11,877

4 minutes ago

3,428

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Just landed via Slack:

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

Trending via Discord:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Trending via WeChat:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Just landed via Reddit:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Seen just now on Discord:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Trending via TikTok:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Making waves on Reddit:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

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