268 Funny home quotes

• Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

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  4 months ago

  2, car, driving, gangsta’s, Gangsta’s Paradise, hand, hand position, hands, home, humor, listening, music, nostalgia, paradise, position, road, road safety, safety, song

• “I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

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  5 months ago

  anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home

• When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

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  5 months ago

  being, being somewhere, going, going home, home, honesty, humor, i, introvert, mean, obligation, relatable, say, social, social obligation, somewhere, want

• I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

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  5 months ago

  care, denial, home, honesty, humor, i, lying, said, standing, stubbornness, window

• I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

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  5 months ago

  advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store

• Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

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  5 months ago

  able, adulthood, alone, choice, choose, day, freedom, hear, home, humor, irony, kid, loneliness, scary, scary story, stay, stay home, story, want, whatever

• 70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

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  5 months ago

  communication, couple, different, home, humor, marriage, relationship, room, yelling

• I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

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  5 months ago

  broken, button, frustration, home, home button, humor, i, office, phone, still, technology, think, work

• People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

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  5 months ago

  again, age, boredom, day, doing, home, humor, just, much, over, people, repetition, routine, same, self-reflection

• Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

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  5 months ago

  contradiction, crazy, daily, daily life, exhausted, exhaustion, feel, feeling, having, home, humor, job, just, life, loneliness, lonely, want, work

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