90 Funny keep quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal struggle of a modern human – the irresistible urge to refresh a page as if it holds the secret to all life's answers. 🔄💥 "Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page" – a battle as epic as any Greek myth, starring us mere mortals and our relentless pursuit of new content! 🤣🔁 #RefreshingStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I keep my mind active by worrying.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the art of keeping the brain busy by overanalyzing every possible catastrophe 🤯💭. Who needs Sudoku when you have worrying as a mental workout, am I right? 😂 #BrainGymnastics"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

  Commentary:
  "Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

  Commentary:
  "Imagine a world where your body is like a sneaky ninja, always dodging the calorie count and eluding the bathroom scale 🕺🍔 No more guilt trips for that extra slice of cake! Who do we talk to about making this dream body a reality? 🍰🚫⚖️"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like someone's getting serious about monitoring the power players! 🕵️‍♂️📝 Bet that little notebook is more popular than the guest list at a VIP party! 🤣📓 #JusticeJournal"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a 'Beware of Dog' sign when you can have a 'Beware of Empty Wallet' sign instead? 💸🚫😂 #MoneyMatters"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone needs to cool off before things heat up! 🔥🧯 Maybe try a water drop emoji instead next time? 💦😄 #FlameRetaliation

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  5 months ago

  Share →: There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to food thieves, keep your friends close and your forks closer! 🍴👀 #SharingIsCaringButNotAlways"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

  Commentary:
  🍏🍏🍏 "Looks like this person's on a one-way ticket to Appleville – Population: Just Me! 🙅‍♂️ Who needs personal space when you've got a pocketful of apples, amirite? 🤣🍎 #AnAppleADayKeepsEveryoneAway"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

  Commentary:
  Oh, the joys of aging – where squinting at tiny instructions becomes a daily workout for the eyes! 👵🔍 Who knew that deciphering minuscule print could become a major challenge in the quest for wisdom and experience? Embrace the magnifying glass, my friend – it's the must-have accessory for the seasoned connoisseur of life's fine print! 🕵️‍♂️🔍 #AgingGracefully

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