140 Funny last quotes

• Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

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  2 months ago

  awkward, awkward moment, chest, girl, girls, humor, i, laid, last, laugh, laughing, me, moment, relationship, time

• It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

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  2 months ago

  before, Earth, generation, humor, internet, know, last, lite, media, nostalgia, realization, realize, social, social media, technology, weird

• By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

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  2 months ago

  actually, agreement, bulb, collective, collective agreement, consumer, consumer experience, exaggeration, expectation, experience, humor, just, last, led, LED bulb, let, lifespan, lightbulb, reality, slide, technology

• I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

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  2 months ago

  25, 30, basketball, commercial, commercials, delay, excitement, exciting, foul, game, humor, last, minutes, ready, seconds, sports, stretch, time-out

• Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

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  2 months ago

  acting, animal, animal prank, big, closet, clothes, clothing, costume, crawl, humor, impersonation, insect, last, me, night, prank, saw, spider, trying, wardrobe

• No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

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  2 months ago

  conversation, curiosity, dream, facts, fear, fun, fun facts, humor, humor in conversation, i, know, last, nightmare, want

• If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

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  2 months ago

  absolutely, am, anxiety, being, dark, dark humor, day, death, doom, existential, existential humor, health, humor, humor about death, i, last, live, means, mental, mental health, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecating, sense

• I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

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  2 months ago

  age, aging, consider, current, humor, i, joke, last, me, picture, self-image, selfie, taken, ten, time, where

• If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

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  2 months ago

  humor, last, last minute, management, minute, motivation, only, procrastination, something, time, time management, urgency, wait

• I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

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  2 months ago

  am, big, blasting, car, change, hate, humor, i, last, mood, morning, morning routine, music, night, person, personal, personal change, personality, routine, same, turn

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