90 Funny last quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! 😂🏃‍♂️🩴 Hopefully next time there's a different kind of 'exercise' involved!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

  Commentary:
  "Blocking him on social media is just the beginning…may his favorite team forever be stuck in last place 🏆🤣 Let karma handle the rest! ⚽️🏀🏈"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like humanity is auditioning for a 'New Year, New Me' makeover but may need a reality check first! 🌎😅 Here's hoping they at least bring their recycling game up a notch in the next chapter!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the 'I can't remember the last time I went out on New Year's Eve' level of old… You know you're getting up there when your idea of a wild night is falling asleep before midnight! 🎉👴😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

  Commentary:
  🎁🐢 This Christmas, why settle for fleeting joy when you can gift everlasting companionship with a tortoise? 🎄🐢 Sure, it may not fit under the tree, but hey, the gift of a tortoise is a gift that truly keeps on giving… and giving… and giving. 🎁🐢 Who needs diamonds when you can have a shelled friend for life? 😉 #TortoiseLove

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  5 months ago

  Share →: This year for Thanksgiving, I’ll probably bring what I brought last year… shame upon the family.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like some traditions just never go out of style! 🦃😅 Bring on the shame, it's the perfect side dish for Thanksgiving dinner. 😂🙈"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone went from spreading holiday cheer to spreading rumors! 🎅🏼🎶 Sending heartfelt gifts to detention centers… talk about a plot twist! 🎁😅 #HolidayDrama

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

  Commentary:
  "Well, let's hope the candidate's policies are more forward-thinking than their campaign strategy! 🤣 Looks like we'll be taking some slow and steady steps into the future, with a few playful detours along the way. 🐢🛑 #ElectionDayAdventures"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

  Commentary:
  "Hey boy, are you my washing machine? 🧺⏰ Because just like it, you seem to have absolutely no concept of how long 10 minutes last! 😆⏳"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

  Commentary:
  💁‍♀️👶 What a clever observation! Nicole Kidman starring in a movie called Babygirl is just too fitting – it's like a playful nod to her surname! No wonder she shines in roles that are simply meant to be 👏 #PerfectMatch #BabygirlNicole

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